Motivation Entitlement: We think we’re entitled to motivation before we take action but it doesn’t work this way. More often than we realize, we have to take action first before motivation kicks in. If we wait until we’re in the mood before we do something, we reinforce procrastination. Not feeling like
Begin by rating how bad you feel on a scale of 0 – 10 (0 = not bad at all and 10 = the worst I could ever imagine feeling). Once you have this number, move on to the first step. Write down or record all your thoughts. I call this
How often do you say, “I don’t know”? If you’re like most people, it’s a lot. These three words sabotage your relationship with yourself and get in the way of your dreams. Saying “I don’t know,” undermines your capability and keeps you in indecision. It can feel safe to rely on not knowing
Many years ago I was married to an imaginary partner. I had an instruction book for who he was supposed to be and my real partner did not measure up. No matter how much I tried to get him to follow my instructions, he stubbornly kept being himself. I was
Most people say they want to be happy by getting the things they want like a loving partner, a good job, health, money, etc. What this strategy ignores is a psychological concept called Hedonic Adaptation, which is the tendency to become adapted to an experience and desensitized to its effect.
We all do it; saying no to the reality that life presents. It’s part of how we try to protect ourselves, express our values, and fine-tune our moral compass. Yet despite our best intentions, the inclination to push against what we don’t want to accept comes with a price. Think about
Years ago my 13-year-old step-son asked if he could borrow a book from my shelf called Controlling People. He said he wanted to figure out how to control people. If there were such a book, probably a lot of us would want a copy too! Likely few of us would identify ourselves
Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to see others’ problems and wrong turns than your own? It’s seductive to believe we know what others should and shouldn’t do, and it can be hard not to give our opinions. It can be hard to resist the urge to give our
1) Presence. Show up and be present; not just when it’s convenient and fun, but also when it’s important for the other person (ie visits to the hospital, graduations, funerals, weddings, etc.) It’s easy to talk yourself out of these events by telling yourself things like, “they won’t even notice if I don’t
“It’s…common, especially in the modern world, to never fully relax. We’ll spend our days half-asleep and nights half-awake, lolling in a gray zone of half-anxiety.”James Nestor, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art The breath is the bridge between the mind and the body and most of us pay little