We all have instruction books for the people in our lives. These are the ways we want them to be different than they are. Maybe you want your partner to be more considerate, you’d like your boss to be more appreciative, your kids to be more respectful or your friends
Do you know you can disagree with someone and still stay connected with them? When we disagree with someone we care about it can feel like a threat to our connection, which motivates us to get them to change their mind so we can be on the same page. The
Many years ago I was married to an imaginary partner. I had an instruction book for who he was supposed to be and my real partner did not measure up. No matter how much I tried to get him to follow my instructions, he stubbornly kept being himself. I was
Years ago my 13-year-old step-son asked if he could borrow a book from my shelf called Controlling People. He said he wanted to figure out how to control people. If there were such a book, probably a lot of us would want a copy too! Likely few of us would identify ourselves
Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to see others’ problems and wrong turns than your own? It’s seductive to believe we know what others should and shouldn’t do, and it can be hard not to give our opinions. It can be hard to resist the urge to give our
1) Presence. Show up and be present; not just when it’s convenient and fun, but also when it’s important for the other person (ie visits to the hospital, graduations, funerals, weddings, etc.) It’s easy to talk yourself out of these events by telling yourself things like, “they won’t even notice if I don’t
Simply put, blame is “to find fault with,” and most of us understand intellectually that has a corrosive effect on relationships, with ourselves and others. “We have far more power than we think to transform troubled relationships – if we’re willing to stop blaming the other person and focus instead on
https://vimeo.com/585983997Four Types of Sorry 1.) Polite Sorry: “Sorry for the delay in getting back to you.”This is the most common type of sorry offered to others as an acknowledgement of a minor transgression or violation of a social norm that happens as part of daily life. This kind of sorry is
https://vimeo.com/577703489People pleasing is a habit of thinking and acting that prioritizes what other people think and feel over what you think and feel. People pleasing is also a form of deception, both with yourself as well as with others. Though not conscious or intentional, attempting to try to get people to like you, approve of you or stop wanting something
https://vimeo.com/567161265Is there someone you’ve been wanting a heart-to-heart talk with? How do you decide when it’s time to speak your mind or better understand it? When it comes to relationship issues, discerning a “me” problem from a “we” problem can be a challenging distinction to make. So it’s a good idea
