Recently I had a social gathering where one friend left early without explanation. My brain concluded she left because she wasn’t having a good time without considering other possibilities. Eventually, I learned her departure was about unexpected personal news she wasn’t able to talk about at the time so my conclusion was way off. In fact, our initial conclusions about such experiences are often wrong. Yet my experience is a common one because of a tendency to land on an explanation and stay put unless new information surfaces that nudge us to question our initial conclusion.
Our brains have a lot of information to process moment by moment. We navigate this by filtering out what’s deemed irrelevant and creating shortcuts wherever possible.
This helpful process allows us to manage a lot of input over time but sometimes it can work against us. When the aperture of our thoughts contracts around one narrow conclusion, this shortcut can cause emotional pain and unnecessary suffering. Reattribution is a method used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help get us out of this thinking rut.
The premise of Reattribution is that you may be blaming yourself for problems you’re not totally responsible for and that have other contributing factors. Similarly, you may be blaming someone else for situations that involve variables they aren’t totally responsible for either.
To use this method, start by identifying the conclusion your brain has locked down about a situation. Notice how your conclusion makes you feel and how much you believe it to be true.
Next, list all the possible explanations for your or the other person’s behavior. Include even the most unlikely causes and any past experiences that could be contributing. See if you can also uncover possible intentions behind the actions.
Here is a worksheet and pie chart to use this method for yourself.
