Sara was nervous about her first date with Brad. They had connected on Bumble and this was the first time they’d met in person. It didn’t go as she’d hoped. He didn’t look like his pictures and conversation was stiff and awkward. As she drove home that night, she kept telling herself, “I’m never going to meet anyone.” As this thought took root, her brain searched for and found evidence for this belief, which made it seem more real and accurate. By the time she got home she was in tears, awash in despair.
This is an example of the powerful and insidious effect of a common thought error known as Overgeneralization.
This is the first in a series to help you identify the common ways brains distort reality. Being able to understand these distortions helps us think about our thinking, which offers objectivity -giving us more authority over our emotional lives. Understanding your own mind empowers you to recognize that your thoughts are not reflections of reality but only interpretations of that reality.
“You can’t get depressed without overgeneralizing.” David Burns, MD
The American Psychological Association defines overgeneralization as, “a cognitive distortion in which an individual views a single event as an invariable rule, so that, for example, failure at accomplishing one task will predict an endless pattern of defeat in all tasks.” When we overgeneralize, we take an experience of one moment in time and generalize it to all similar events of the past or expected events in the future.
Another factor that makes it more likely for overgeneralization to gain a stronghold in our mind is called Confirmation Bias. Once we believe something to be true (often based on arbitrary or speculative information) our brain then becomes like a DEA dog sniffing out evidence in support of the belief. Essentially, we become biased to look for (and find) proof that what we already believe is true.
You will know when your brain is using the lie of overgeneralization when you notice using words like “always,” “never,” “everybody,” and “nobody.” Human brains are pattern-making machines and once a pattern is found, it wants to maintain it, even when it causes misery. So once an overgeneralized thought gets traction through repetition, it will begin automatically begin interpreting events through the same distorted lens, strengthening our belief in the lie each time, all without even our conscious awareness.This is why it’s so important to understand this kind of thought error, because you can’t change it if don’t identify it.
Antidote #1: Replace generalizing language with words that are specific to an event or more realistic. For example, once Sara realized one awkward date didn’t mean she’d be alone forever, she was able to consider something more accurate like, “This date didn’t go so great but every time I go on one I give myself a chance to meet someone I click with.”
Antidote #2: Once you identify your overgeneralized thought, ask yourself, “Is this true?,” “Is it possible I could be wrong about this?” Challenge your thoughts as you review them. Would someone else view your thoughts the same way?
Want to learn more about Overgeneralization? Check out this podcast episode by Dr. David Burns.
Do you want to know how to spot your brain’s lies and get more control over your emotional health? Check out my program here.
