“An unquestioned mind in the world of suffering,” Byron Katie
We ask ourselves questions all the time and they can be the catalyst to move us forward or keep us spinning us in circles.
Questions help us find and create thoughts. When applied effectively, they’re a powerful tool that supports us in progressing steadfastly in the direction of our dreams. Used strategically, questions can help us plow through uncertainty like a mental weed whacker.
But questions are not all created equal.
Many of us are tyrannized by questions that take us off track keep us stuck in a circular pattern from which we can’t break free. Here’s a sampling of these kinds of dead end questions:
What’s wrong with me?
Why do things have to be this way?
Why is this so hard?
Why doesn’t anyone love me?
Why do my kids act like that?
Why didn’t I leave my partner 10 years ago?
Why can’t I figure this out?
Why does this always happen to me?
Upon closer inspection, what you’ll uncover is a negative belief baked into the question (ie. something is wrong with me). In fact, these kinds of questions are unconsciously designed to maintain a belief you already hold by leading you on a repetitive search for more evidence to keep proving your belief “true,” even if believing it causes you a great deal of emotional turmoil and keeps you trapped in a pattern of self-sabotage.
There is no option for a good answer to a bad question.
Those listed above are examples of bad questions.
A bad question is one in which there is no real answer and never leads to a solution.
A bad question also feels bad and perpetuates rumination.
A bad question generates confirmation, confusion or defeat.
The antidote to bad questions are asking good ones on purpose.
A good question inspires curiosity, wonder or motivation.
You can distinguish a bad question from a good one by the feeling it generates.
Questions inspire thoughts to think.
Thoughts are what will generate your emotions.
Emotions drive your actions.
Actions are what create your results.
So if you want to get authority over the direction of your life, start by asking good questions on purpose.
Here are 3 good questions to start asking yourself today:
How do I WANT to think and feel about this?
How is this happening for me and not to me?
How can I use this to be a better version of myself?
