“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” ― C. JoyBell C.
The antidote to self-doubt is courage.
You can’t overcome self-doubt without it.
Most of us want to skip over courage into confidence but I have yet to see or find such an option.
Courage has a good image, but the experience of it is much more gritty.
Courage is defined as the mental or moral strength to persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty (Merriam- Webster)
Sounds fun right? But courage is the price you pay for growth so it’s worth taking a closer look.
Courage is what we have to be willing to feel whenever we do something that scares us. Remember that courage is taking action when we’re afraid; in other words, feeling afraid and doing it anyway. It’s also skill, which means we can get better at it with practice. Practicing courage means feeling it on purpose. Even with experience though courage is still uncomfortable, but you learn that the vibration of fear is something we are built to withstand. This builds capability and trust in yourself, which generates confidence.
Confidence isn’t something you have, it’s something you earn.
The pattern of self-doubt usually starts with an unrealistic expectation to feel confident prematurely. We judge ourselves for feeling afraid and retreat. Giving up on ourselves this way strengthens self-doubt and confirms our ineptitude. This is a painful feedback, but courage can break the cycle.
Neither self-doubt nor courage feel good. So if you’re going to feel bad either way, you might as well go with the one that moves you closer to self-confidence and builds resilience instead of repeating the same old cycle.
We can also underestimate the power of small acts of courage. It’s easy to confuse courage with the action-adventure movie section in Netflix. But every time you reach out to someone new, it takes courage. Any time you extend an offer or invitation that someone could reject is an act of courage. When you let go of something you’ve believed about yourself for a new narrative, it’s an act of courage.
Don’t underestimate the power of small acts of courage to chip away at self-doubt and build your self-respect.
So experiment with courage this week; take a risk and challenge yourself to do something that scares you a little.
Pro Tip:Before you take action, come up with three thoughts to focus on before, during and after. You want these thoughts to activate courage and mobilize action. Here are some you can try out:
I can do this.
I’m committed to being proud of myself for taking the risk no matter what.
Even if I fail, I’ll double down on loving myself fiercely.
Just doing something that scares me is a win for me
I can do hard things
Each time I do something that scares me it makes me stronger and more resilient
I’m good enough no matter what. I’m doing it and that’s enough.
What if fear means I’m doing it right?
