Journaling can be an underestimated but very powerful tool for emotional health and growth. I explain to clients that journaling is how we talk and listen to ourselves. Writing things down forces the mind to slow down and allows us to get some objectivity and perspective. We have 60,-80,000 thoughts speeding through our mind’s every day and trying to sort out what’s happening there with the same level of mind that’s creating it is like trying to read a label from the inside of a bottle.
It doesn’t require lots of time; somewhere between 10-20 minutes but most of my clients don’t want to take the time to sit down and put pen to paper. I can understand this; it’s tedious and time-consuming and easily misinterpreted as unproductive.
Consider this: if you wanted to improve a relationship with someone you cared about, would it be possible to do this without ever sitting down to have a conversation with that person or making the time to listen to what they think and feel? It’s unlikely and this benign neglect has consequences on any relationship, including the relationship with yourself.
I’ve been a journaler (not a real word, but it fits) since I was 11. Diary’s were popular at the time and my first one had a little lock on it. I considered my diary my BFF and even gave her a name, addressing each entry with “Dear Coco.” I’d loved the movie Flashdance and Coco being the name of the main character seemed the perfect moniker). Journaling proved to be a valuable outlet at a time was ill-equipped to deal with the level of emotional intensity and distress I was feeling and this practice has continued to served me throughout my life.
My practice has continue to evolve over the years and for the past few years I’ve refined it to two different types of journaling: Structured Practice and Free Writing.
Structured Practice is what I refer to as a Thought Jot. I found it originally as a life coaching exercise referred to as a Thought Dump or a Thought Download. I think of a Thought Jot as a form of mental hygiene. Just as I take a shower every day, I clean my mind every day by externalizing what my mind is telling me so I can see what’s going on in there. I usually do it first thing in the morning. If a particular thought is giving me some trouble or I’m curious about, I’ll run it though one of the tools in my toolbox to work with it a bit more. Here’s what one of my recent Thought Jots looked like:
It’s supposed to rain all day and I wish I didn’t have to drive so far.
I hope the doctor’s appointment is helpful.
I’m tired of feeling bad.
I know this will get resolved one way or another.
I’m grateful for so many things.
I’ve been sheltering at home for over 6 weeks and I miss my friends.
I want to coordinate a virtual call with my gal pals.
I’ve been spending too much time on social media.
I could be using my time more productively.
I like not pushing myself too hard right now.
I want to find a middle ground between slacking off and pushing.
You get the picture. It’s like taking a snapshot of my brain and getting a look. If I were to pluck one thought out from this list to investigate it would likely be, “I could use my time more productively.” That thought is not helpful and probably causing unnecessary stress. But I wouldn’t have caught it without downloading my thoughts to paper.
Free Writing is pretty self-explanatory. This is what most people do but I’ve seen negative consequences of relying on this as a primary tool for emotional health or healing. When we haven’t been taught the skill of identifying cognitive distortions or recognize how unreliable our thoughts can be, writing them down in this way can actually reinforce our distorted thinking, making it seem more real and true to us and solidify a narrative of ourselves that adds to our suffering and can keep us looping in an unhelpful perception of reality. I now use it primarily as a self-empathy tool when I’m emotionally upset or confused as a way to talk and listen to myself without any particular agenda.
